


Shinigami Shuffle

by Blackkitten23



Category: Naruto
Genre: Explicit Language, Grim Reapers, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 01:52:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4329249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackkitten23/pseuds/Blackkitten23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything dies, but demons have to hibernate and shed their demonic chakra before they die, but the hibernation is broken when their host uses their power. A group of reapers wants to help the tailed demons past on even if it means taking the jinchuuriki spotlight. - reaper Naruto</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Undead Bodyguards

**I don't own Naruto or any anime OR anything and I don't make a profit off of my stories**

**(** I'm thinking)

"I'm speaking"

**"Demon / summon / ghost speaking"**

**(Demon / summon / ghost thinking)**

/Author's comments\

XXXXXXXXXX

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE THE ORANGE MUST DIE!" screamed a blonde haired man "17 FUCKING YEARS THEY MADE ME WEAR THIS SHIT BUT NO MORE MWHAHA!"

The crazy blonde was laughing manically as he made a large pile of orange jumpsuits. Just as he was putting the finishing touches on, meaning the third bottle of lighter fluid, when his watch started beeping. The psycho stopped to check his watch.

"2:58 am, damn time to report in " he glares at the pile "I will be back"

The blond body flickered to his bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. He placed his hand on the mirror and channeled some black and purple energy into it. He took a step back and watched as the mirror warped into 8 flat screen monitors each about the size of an iPad.

Monitor 1 turned on: 2 people appeared on the screen, one blonde woman and one tan skinned man with goggles

"hey boss, Yugito here reporting in" said the blonde woman

"Yo boss man, Killer bee here reporting in" said the man with goggles

Monitor 2 turned on: a redhead with dark circles around his teal eyes and a tattoo of the kanji for love on his forehead appeared on screen

"hey general Naruto, Gaara here reporting in"

Monitor 3 turned on: a green haired girl with brown skin and orange eyes appeared on screen

"Hey general! Fu here reporting in"

Monitor 4 turned on: a slender man with shoulder length brown hair and pale gold eyes appeared on screen

"Utakata here to report in"

Monitor 5 turned on: a boy with pink pupiless eyes and light gray hair with a stich like scar going from his left eye going all the way down his cheek appeared on screen

"whats up general, Yagura here"

Monitor 6 turned on: a man completely covered in red samurai armor except his brown eyes appeared on screen

"hello General Naruto, Han here reporting for duty sir"

Monitor 7 turned on: a man with black eyes and a red bread and moustache appeared on screen

"Yo general Naruto, Roshi here reporting in"

Monitor 8 turned on: a woman with short dark blue hair with a blue rose in her hair appeared on screen

"hi general Konan reporting in"

Naruto raised an eyebrow "just you today Konan, where are the others?

"Shinju finished his hibernation early. Since his demon chakra is gone making it possible for us to touch him and help him pass on, Nagato and Yahiko went to escort him to Death's desk, where Shinju decided he would wait for the other tailed demons. Everyone else is playing puppet for Obito, oh wait I mean _Madara_ _Uchiha_ " she finished with an eye roll and the other reapers snickered.

If only Obito knew that the people he's trying to fool were reapers.

Naruto said "well that's great news! With Shinju safe from Obito, that's less to worry about. Alright, what other news? Have any of the real jinchuuriki made contact with their prisoners?"

"no sir" was the response from the other reapers

"good, same here my idiot teammate is still in the dark, now how close are your demons to finishing their hibernations? Kurama has about 3 months left"

"Chomei has about 1 week left" chirped Fu

"2 weeks left" said Utakata

"about 5 or 6 days" said Yugito

"3 weeks for Son Goku" said Roshi

"about 6 weeks sir " said Han

"2 months for Shukaku" said Gaara

"about 7 weeks" said Killer Bee

"7 or 8 weeks" said Yagura

Konan was writing all this down in a notebook "alright we are going to start hunting for you guys in a month"

Naruto grinned "sounds like this job is almost done, but be careful and don't let your guard down and keep in mind that even if you escorted your demon to the other side and use the akatsuki to fake your death your job isn't done, you are to return in your reaper forms and assist those who are still waiting for their hibernations to finish, understood?"

"yes general Naruto"

"good, that concludes this meeting. Your all dismissed." The monitors turned off and reverted back into a normal bathroom mirror.

A psychotic grin spread across Naruto's face "now, for some unfinished business" he pulled a flame thrower out of ... somewhere and shunshined back to the pile of victims.

XXXXXXXXXX

That morning Naruto was walking up to the team seven training ground. He saw Sai and Sakura waiting.

"hey guys what's up?" greeted the undercover reaper. He was wearing a black tee-shirt with black anbu style pants and black leather gloves and a black leather jacket, even the cloth for his headband and sandals were black.

"shut up baka, where the hell is your ugly jumpsuit?" screeched the pink banshee

"it was horrible! Some orange hating maniac broke into my house and burned everything! They even beat up the oranges in my kitchen! There was ash and pulp everywhere!" yelled Naruto as he pretended to be distraught when he really he couldn't be happier.

Sakura smirked "if you find out who did it, tell me and I'll _reward_ them" she said in what she thought was a sexy voice. Naruto almost turned green at the thought of someone getting a reward from the pink banshee.

"no one deserves such a horrible fate" he mumbled

*poof* Their senseis Kakashi and Yamato arrived.

"Your late!" screeched the banshee making everyone flinch.

"sorry we were lost on the road of life" said Kakashi as Yamato shook his head. The wood user tried to get Kakashi here on time, but failed miserably.

"don't you need a life to get lost on that road. Dead people, porn, and plants aren't much of a life" the two jonin twitched at the sarcastic remark and turned to see who made it. They saw a smoking hot young man with blonde hair and dressed in black.

"and who are you?" said Yamato while thinking (will you go on a date with me?)

Naruto smirked "I know the orange jumpsuit wasn't flattering, but you should still be able to tell who I am."

Kakashi and Yamato were shocked "Naruto!"

"Yes it is I! Like the new look?" asked the reaper

"it's more appropriate for a ninja, but why the change?" asked Kakashi

Naruto shrugged "someone burned my jumpsuits"

The two jonin were worried "are you alright?" asked Kakashi

"I'm fine-"

"WHO CARES THE BAKA ISN'T IMPORTANT we should go get our mission done so we can bring my Sasuke-kun back" screeched Sakura as she walked to the hokage tower. She never noticed her senseis glare at her.

XXXXXXXXXX

They entered the hokage's office to see a pissed off hokage looking for her bottle of sake. She whirled round to look at them and first thing she saw was Naruto's new look and that he was swaying back and forth.

"Naruto what happened to your orange jumpsuit ... and are you HIGH!? WHO GAVE MY LITTLE NARUTO DRUGS" roared Tsunade as she flew into mother hen mode.

Naruto slurred "calm down granny, no one gave me drugs. I just shouldn't have stood so close to the fire while the evil orange was burning ... Kami knows what those things were made of"

"YOU BURNED YOUR OWN JUMPSUITS" screamed Yamato, Tusnade, and Kakashi. Sakura didn't care, if anything she was a little pissed that they weren't talking about Sasuke.

"well duuhh you guys didn't think I liked that shit, I only got it because it is the only thing demons are allowed to buy" slurred Naruto

Tsunade went from shocked to heartbroken "Naruto if something like that was going on you should've told me"

"the council is enough of a pain in the ass as it is, if you try helping even more than you already have things will just get worse-"

Sakura screeched and cut Naruto off "WOULD YOU SHUT UP YOU IDIOT! We should be talking about someone important, like Sasuke-kun"

Tsunade was about to yell at Sakura, but Naruto beat her to it "WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY. No one likes you, you stupid pink banshee man-lady"

Sakura's jaw dropped, she never heard Naruto talk to her like that before "Lots of people like me, you have a crush on me!"

Naruto shook his head "no, I had a crush on a pink haired _boy_ in the academy" he turned to Tsunade, Kakashi and Yamato "you can imagine how heartbroken I was when the _boy_ I liked won _kunoichi_ of the year"

Kakashi gave a relieved sigh "I thought I was the only one to make that mistake"

Yamato nodded "me too"

Sakura was fuming "you jerks"

Tsunade shook her head "alright knock it off all of you! Sakura another peep out of you and I will remove your reproductive organs" that shut pinky up cause she wanted to have Sasuke's kids "your mission is to go to Sand and pick up some documents from Gaara ... as soon as Naruto comes down from his high"

"yes hokage-sama"


	2. Lookouts

**I don't own Naruto or any anime OR anything and I don't make a profit off of my stories**

**(** I'm thinking)

"I'm speaking"

**"Demon / summon / ghost speaking"**

**(Demon / summon / ghost thinking)**

/Author's comments\

**Last Time:**

Tsunade shook her head "alright knock it off all of you! Sakura another peep out of you and I will remove your reproductive organs" that shut pinky up cause she wanted to have Sasuke's kids "your mission is to go to Sand and pick up some documents from Gaara"

"yes hokage-sama"

XXXXXXXXXX

"alright lets go" said Yamato as they headed to Sand.

"hey, Naruto are there other things you haven't told us?" asked Kakashi

"maybe, could you tell me what I said, my memory is a little fuzzy" said the reaper who was hoping he didn't say he was an undead reaper and Sakura was the real container for the nine tailed fox ... that would be bad ... very very bad.

"you said you hated that orange jumpsuit and only wore it because you had no choice, your gay and you thought Sakura was a guy" said Yamato and Kakashi snickered.

Naruto didn't show it, but he was relieved "wow I got a lot off my chest! Well ... there are a few more things, like ramen, it is good, but more importantly it's cheap and no one tries to poison me at Ichiraku"

"people try to poison you!" screamed a shocked wood user

"yeah" he shrugged, it wasn't a big deal to him since he was a reaper. What can you do to someone who's already dead? ... Not much

Kakashi and Yamato were shocked that Naruto's treatment was so bad. Sai, however, looked indifferent.

Sakura decided to cut into the conversation "quit lying idiot, we're on a mission and shouldn't be talking about unimportant things, like you. Of course, we can talk about Sasuke"

Everyone remained quiet, which made Sakura sulk.

XXXXXXXXXX

Three days and a new problem later team 7 made it to Sand. They checked into a hotel and waited for Gaara to finish his meeting.

"hey Naruto, why don't you go see Gaara" said Kakashi

"sure, but why?"

"he likes you more ... and I don't want to take the chance that he might still be mad at me for flirting with Temari … he's very protective of her" whimpered Kakashi as Naruto laughed at him.

(that's because she holds Shukaku and is a friend of Gaara's) "fine I'll get them" snickered the blonde.

XXXXXXXXXX

Naruto entered Gaara's office and shut the door "hey Gaara, my team wanted some documents, but that can wait. I wanted to discuss a problem that came up on our way here"

Garra set up a sound proof barrier and gave his general his full attention.

"Sakura snuck off one night while we were traveling here and met a person. That person was Sasuke. Yep, she's betraying the village."

Gaara shrugged "there're always a ninja or two betraying a village. It could go on for months or years before anyone notices"

"your right, and normally I wouldn't be concerned, but Kakashi saw"

"shit"

"my sentiments exactly ... I figure I have about a week or two before I have to start saving the bitch from assassination attempts or execution ... I might need your position as kazekage if things get that bad" says Naruto as he rubs his temples.

Gaara looks Naruto up and down admiring the new outfit Naruto was wearing. Gaara stood up and walked over to his general "this must be stressful for you" he put his hands palms flat against Naruto's chest "would you like me to help relieve some of that stress?" Gaara let his hands slide down Naruto's torso and let them rest on the zipper of the blonde's pants.

Naruto smirked

XXXXXXXXXX

"I wonder what's taking Naruto so long. He should've been done by now" said Yamato as he, Sai and Kakashi approached Gaara's office.

Sai said "dickless probably got distracted"

Gaara's secretary wasn't there so they let themselves in.

When they opened the door they heard "Oh oh oh FUCK yes … Harder … AHHH Yes Fuck me" and they saw a flushed, naked Gaara bent over his desk with an equally naked Naruto behind him thrusting his huge cock into the Kazekage.

A shocked Yamato said "ummm Naruto, what are you d-doing?"

Naruto paused mid thrust earning a whimper from Gaara "errrrr … strengthening the bonds between Sand and Leaf"

Gaara groaned "what are you doing? Negotiations aren't done yet AHH!" he screamed as Naruto roughly thrust back into him.

"always so impatient" he chuckled completely ignoring the two jonin and his teammate on the floor. All three had past out because of massive nosebleeds.

XXXXXXXXXX

Back at the hotel a few hours later Naruto and his senseis were talking "what's the big deal, Yamato-sensei? I got the documents we needed"

"it's not that, it's just how come you didn't tell us that you were dating Gaara?" asked Yamato

The reaper shrugged "Gaara's the kazekage, so we kept our relationship quiet to avoid any issues"

Yamato nodded understanding the situation.

"does this mean I can't call you dickless anymore?" asked Sai who was still reeling from his first nosebleed.

Naruto chuckled "yeah, but no worries, we'll think of another nickname"

"how about whiskers?" asked Sai

Naruto shrugged "yeah sure go ahead"

The hotel door opened and Sakura walked in. She never noticed Kakashi's and Yamato's suspicious glance and no one noticed the reaper give a 'why me?' look while crying anime tears.

XXXXXXXXXX

The team made it back to Konoha without any more problems and were now in Tsunade's office.

"so do you have the documents from Gaara?" the fifth hokage asked

"whiskers has them and he displayed some interesting techniques to get them" said Sai

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at the strange comment (Sai has a new nickname for Naruto and what does he mean by 'technique', I'll have Kakashi and Yamato ... explain why are they blushing? What the hell happened in Sand?)

Saskura snorted "technique? This idiot has no technique"

"yes he does and he has a really big-mmmmf"

Naruto snickered as Kakashi and Yamato clapped their hands over Sai's mouth "that would fall under 'inappropriate conversation topics' category" said Yamato and Sai nodded.

Tsunade rolled her eyes "that's enough! You're dismissed, out now!"

"actually, hokage-sama, Kakashi and I need to talk to you" said Yamato

Tsunade shrugged "fine, you three shoo"

Naruto mentally frowned as he followed Sai and Sakura out (and so it begins. At least tings will get more interesting)


	3. A Complication

**I don't own Naruto or any anime OR anything and I don't make a profit off of my stories**

**(** I'm thinking)

"I'm speaking"

**"Demon / summon / ghost speaking"**

**(Demon / summon / ghost thinking)**

/Author's comments\

**Last Time:**

Naruto mentally frowned as he followed Sai and Sakura out (and so it begins. At least things will get more interesting)

XXXXXXXXXX

"I don't like this job, there nothing to look at" muttered the reaper as he stayed near the hot springs to keep an eye on Sakura. Naruto sensed someone nearby and that someone was Jiraiya "hmmm maybe I should rat him out to Tsu- uh oh what's going on?" the reaper frowned when he sensed two anbu come and drag the toad sage away.

As tempted as he was to find out what was going on he had to stay near Sakura.

XXXXXXXXXX

Jiraiya was terrified when he was escorted into Tsunade's office "sooooo Tsunade-chan, what's wrong?" he was so scared that he was close to shitting himself.

Tsunade rolled her eyes "calm down Jiraiya we have bigger problems than your peeping"

The toad sage relaxed "so why am I here?"

"because someone has betrayed Konoha"

The toad sage frowned "who?"

"Sakura"

"seriously?" asked a stunned toad sage.

Tsunade nodded "Kakashi over heard Sakura giving Sasuke classified information on their most recent mission to Sand"

Tsunade heard a knock at her door and Shizune poked her head in "Gaara is here malady"

"good, send him in" groaned the hokage

Jiraiya looked confused "why is the Kazekage here?"

"Sand is our ally and besides Sakura was caught on the way to Sand so she could have information on them too" said Tsunade with a shrug.

Gaara walked in and bowed before taking his seat "hokage-sama why have asked to speak with me?"

Tsunade sighed "my apprentice Sakura Haruno has betrayed our village during the most recent trip to your village. We wanted to tell you that we will investigate everything and have her tried for treason."

Gaara didn't show it, but he was concerned (this is a problem if she's convicted and executed before Kurama is free we have to start it all over again, I should find a way to stall … I know)

"hokage-sama may I make a suggestion? How about we use Haruno?"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow "how so?"

"we know she's is a traitor so lets use her to our advantage by feeding her false information"

Jiraiya grinned "that could work!"

The fifth hokage smirked "we need to alter everything around her in some way, but it's worth it if we can mess with Orochimaru and Sasuke, I'll put some people on it right away"

Gaara was relieved "might I also suggest putting Naruto on it too"

"if you asked me that two weeks ago I would've laughed, but he might be our best asset for this so yes I will ... would you like to inform him personally?"

The Kazekage noticed a light blush on Tsunade's face, apparently Kakashi and Yamato told her about what occurred back in Sand "I have every intention of meeting up with him so yes I will"

Jiraiya looked back and forth from Gaara to Tsunade wondering if he missed something.

XXXXXXXXXX

Naruto lounged in his chair trying to relax from following Sakura all day, he may be dead, but even he has his limits. He left a clone with her ...

*knock*knock* Naruto wondered who that could be as he went to get the door. The second he opened it he was push into the wall by someone and pulled into a kiss.

The reaper broke the kiss and saw his favorite red head ''now that's a hello" he spun Gaara around and contiued the make out session.

Sadly, they were interrupted by a girly shriek "Naruto, you're gay!" the reapers looked at the person who disturbed them and saw Jiraiya.

"hi pervy sage-"

"WHY? THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! WHERE DID I GO WRONG?" wailed the sage as he flailed on the ground throwing tantrum making both reapers sweat drop.

Gaara groaned "I loathe the living"

Jiraiya popped up with a smile "oh well, I'll just add a Yaoi catagory to my Make Out Paradise books " both reapers face planted "... when did you guys start dating anyway?"

Naruto shrugged as he got up "while you were peeping on women during that training trip I went to see Gaara and ... well, let's just say when he got his robes I was under them"

Gaara blushed, Naruto didn't lie per say, but he didn't mean the Kazekage robes, he meant the reaper robes Gaara earned 500 years ago. With that the toad sage left with a plan to broaden his perverted horizons.

"well ... that was weird, so why are you here my love?" asked Naruto as he poured the red head a glass of wine from a bottle that was in a hidden compartment in the counter.

Gaara sighed "Tsunade called me to the village to inform me of Sakura's betrayal and that she was going to be executed, I managed to convince her to use Sakura instead by feeding her false information"

The reaper general groaned "this isn't going well, but I glad you managed to make the bitch useful ... maybe we can get through this, I got word from the Akatsuki, Fu, Yugito, Utakata and Roshi were all 'captured'. Fu is going to give Yagura a hand, Yugito is staying to help Bee, Roshi is keeping an eye on Han's demon vessel. Unless you need any help I was going to ask Utakata to come hear and help keep an eye on Sakura"

The red head smiled "no you'll need the extra hands, but make sure those hands stay out of your pants"

Naruto rolled his eyes "500 years and you still don't trust me"

"I trust you, just not Utakataahhh Naruto" the blonde reached down and began fondling Gaara crotch. Gaara's back arched and he buck his hips into the hand. Naruto leaned in and kissed Gaara as he slipped a digit into the red head's pants to massage the pink hole. Gaara moaned into the kiss and felt his pants fall. He was pushed into a position so he was bent over the couch and his legs were spread on either side of the armrest.

Gaara's eyes widened when he heard a buzzing sound "Naruto don't oooh" he moaned as a vibrator was thrust into him. Each time his hips moved his cock would brush the armrest causing more delicious friction. Naruto was almost hypnotized as he watched the toy slide in and out of the red head.

The Kazekage latched onto the back of the couch and his hips bucked faster "cumming cumming oh oh OH" he splashed his seed onto the couch "damn blondes" he gasped.

Naruto chuckled as he pulled out the toy "love you too"

A flushed Gaara panted "you know if this mission ends without a hitch you will have to die too"

The general sighed "yep, I hope they don't put me in a coffin, they're so uncomfortable"

XXXXXXXXXX

Later that night after Gaara left Naruto felt a pang in his chest "someone is messing with Kurama's seal" he bolted off to find Sakura.

He found the pinkeye asleep in her bed with Sasuke looking at her stomach through his Sharingan. Naruto stayed back and waited, if Sasuke went any farther the blonde would have to kill him.

The Uchiha smirked and pulled her shirt down "you might actually be useful for once" and he jumped out the window.

The reaper frowned as he watched Sasuke leave "how did you know?"


	4. How to Play Alive for Dummies

**I don't own Naruto or any anime OR anything and I don't make a profit off of my stories**

**(** I'm thinking)

"I'm speaking"

**"Demon / summon / ghost speaking"**

**(Demon / summon / ghost thinking)**

/Author's comments\

**Last Time:**

The reaper frowned as he watched Sasuke leave "how did you know?"

XXXXXXXXXX

Just one of those days ...

You know ...

The kind of day where everything you worked so hard to complete starts slowly crumbing before your eyes ...

Naruto, the reaper general and right hand of Death was pacing the floor wondering how he can salvage this situation so things can turn in their favor "how did he know in the first place? We warped everyone's minds the day of the attack ... but did we fix all the reports? If there was a mix up maybe he found an original report ... if that's the case I need to destroy it"

A reaper with shoulder length black hair and yellow eyes phased through the wall and walked up to Naruto **"hello, how's my sexy general today?"**

The blonde reaper rolled his eyes "sorry no time for your harmless flirting today, we have a problem"

 **"what's wrong?"** asked a now very serous Utakata

"that damn Uchiha knows about Sakura being Kurama's demon vessel" he growled

Utakata's eyes widened **"uh oh"**

"yep, but I'm still stuck with a physical form so I have to stay here. You go and check out the Uchiha compound and see what you can find anything"

XXXXXXXXXX

The reaper arrived at the Uchiha district and started looking around the dilapidated compound trying to find anything useful.

 **"huh these people were paranoid, there genjutsus all over the place ... not like that matters, one good thing about being dead is you can see through illusions ... now what's this?"** he noticed that some dust was unsettled on the floor **"someone's been here recently ... hmm this floor board is loose"** he popped out the board and found some files.

Utakata's jaw dropped as he found something interesting ...

XXXXXXXXXX

The blonde general waited near Sakura's home for the irritating pinkette to finish dressing so they could go meet their team.

"this is going to take a while" he saw Utakata appear next to him "find anything?"

**"yes, first someone was at the Uchiha compound recently and removed a series of files that would've been from the time Kurama was forced to attack Konoha except this ..."**

Sakura came out "lets go idiot" she never saw or heard the reaper standing next to her.

The yellow eyed reaper knew Sakura couldn't see or hear him so he pulled out a piece of paper and continued his report **"this is a copy of a report from that night and it says that the child that was used to seal Kurama had pink hair and was female"**

Naruto sighed "time to find where the Uchiha is" Utakata got the hint and left, but Sakura heard him and started ranting about her precious Sasuke (OH look at that I'm dead, but I can still get migraines) the reaper mentally groaned.

They reached the hokage's office and went in.

"now this mission is important, you will be required to collect data our ninjas efficiency in each outpost village and then get detailed reports on the border patrol's efficiency, got it? You have three weeks" said Tsunade

"and by important you mean boring" muttered Naruto

Sakura glared and tried to hit the blonde who leaned to the side dodging the wimpy punch "shut up idiot it has to be done"

Everyone frowned when Sakura bolted out of the room.

Naruto sweat dropped "yeah that's not suspicious at all"

"she could at least pretend to be less excited" said Yamato

Tsunade shook her head and looked at Sai, Naruto, Kakashi and Yamato "all the anbu at each location have been notified. They're ready to put on a show for Sakura the second they see her and false paperwork has been placed within reach. Try not to make it too easy for her"

They nodded and were about to leave when Tsunade asked Naruto to stay "Naruto how long have you and Gaara been dating? I don't have a problem with it I'm just curious"

"it seems like an eternity that I hope never ends" the hokage blushed at the romantic answer and Naruto left ... well almost, he popped his head back in and said "did you know the pervy sage is making a Yaoi version of his book? Just thought you should know" that's when Naruto really left and Tsunade was glad he didn't come back because she was suffering from a massive nosebleed.

Naruto waved to his teammates "hey guys, why don't we start with the border patrol first, we might catch some people off guard"

Sakura smirked "finally you come up with a good idea" said the traitor who was unaware of the three ninja and a reaper glaring at her.

XXXXXXXXXX

Naruto was sharping a kunai when he looked at Kakashi ... he knew the jonin was moping, he sighed "this isn't your fault sensei" he gestured towards Sakura who was setting up her tent ... trying to ... the tent was putting up a fight.

Yamato nodded "he's right senpai, we all knew she was obsessed, but no one thought she'd go this far"

Kakashi looked up from his book "I didn't think I was being so obvious ... yeah you're both right"

The reaper wasn't paying attention and sliced his finger off "OW shit"

"did you cut yourself Naruto?" asked Kakashi as he moved to the blonde "let me see"

Naruto grabbed his severed digit and hid his hands behind his back "it's nothing really just a little nick"

"I should still look at it-"

"Kakashi-sensei this tent isn't going up!" whined the pinkette

When the two ninja turned to look at the traitorous pinkette Naruto checked his finger ... it healed ... but it was backwards! Naruto panicked and bit back a scream as he sliced off the digit so he could adjust it.

As Kakashi turned his attention back to Naruto the blonde held up his hand revealing his fixed finger "see sensei, no big deal it already healed"

Kakashi eye smiled "that's good ... so how long do you think she'll wait to deliver the news?"

"I bet she'll leave camp before we're even asleep" smirked the reaper.

"no way, she isn't that stupid" said the wood user.

The undercover reaper grinned "care to make a wager" they all placed their bets.

Less than an hour later Sakura made a show about being mad at Naruto and stomped off. Kakashi and Yamato forked over Naruto's winnings the second they got back to Konoha.

XXXXXXXXXX

The reaper found an underground cave with a stone wall hiding the entrance **"now this is their headquarters ... OW!"** Utakata rubbed his nose.

He put his hands against the wall and tried to go through, but he couldn't! He was a reaper, a ghost, he should be able to walk through anything!

**"what hell is going on here?!"**

XXXXXXXXXX

Once Naruto entered his apartment he found a freaked out reaper pacing his floor.

"Utakata what's going on? You were supposed to find the files"

**"I found Orochimaru's hideout easily, but I can't get in"**

Naruto raised an eyebrow "what do you mean?"

**"there's a barrier keeping me out"**

"that's impossible we're dead we should have access ... wait was it a complete barrier or were you able to get into the hideout at some points?"

**"I was able to get in part way, but I always hit a wall at some point, General what could cause this?"**

Naruto sighed "there's only one thing this could mean ... Orochimaru has Shinigami's Death Mask ..."


	5. What's Death?

**I don't own Naruto or any anime OR anything and I don't make a profit off of my stories**

**(** I'm thinking)

"I'm speaking"

**"Demon / summon / ghost speaking"**

**(Demon / summon / ghost thinking)**

/Author's comments\

**Last Time:**

Naruto sighed "there's only one thing this could mean ... Orochimaru has Shinigami's Death Mask ..."

XXXXXXXXXX

The reaper general smirked "actually this might be ok"

Utakata frowned **"have you gone mad sir?"**

"no" the general twitched.

**"that isn't convincing"**

"shut up and hear me out. Why would this info matter to Sasuke if he knows he can grab Sakura at any point and that would be that? I think he wants more than that ... maybe to convince me to go against Konoha. The trick is confronting him, but Uchiha is pretty easily manipulated so getting the papers should be simple"

**"I suppose that makes sense ... he could've easily told her to come with him, but be hasn't ... so how do you confront him general?"**

Naruto smirked "If my hunch is right then all I have to do is make one of those fake reports real"

XXXXXXXXXX

A sigh escaped the blonde reaper's lips "come on Uchiha, where are you? oh I hope I'm right about this ... here he comes" he pretended not to notice Sasuke's presence until he came out into the light.

"hey idiot, it's been awhile" said the Uchiha with a smug smirk. He expected the idiot to jump up and fight him, but that didn't happen ...

"do you mind, Sasuke? I'm busy" muttered the clearly bored blonde as he relaxed against a tree.

Sasuke blinked "don't you want to take me back to the village?"

Naruto shrugged "you're a big boy, you can come back on your own. Now go away, I need sleep ... need something?"

The Uchiha stood their stunned "errr nice outfit"

"gee thanks, but I'm dating someone so stop checking me out" said the reaper

"WHAT? WHO?!" Sasuke clapped hand over his mouth "I mean, who would date you?" he scoffed.

Naruto raised an eyebrow and smirked at the poor cover up "a sexy red head"

"you're dating GAARA! He's a demon vessel!"

The blonde shrugged "so am I"

Sasuke glared "actually you aren't"

"come again?" the reaper mentally smirked.

"you're not a demon vessel. Have you ever used the nine tails chakra?" asked the Uchiha

"no"

"Have you ever talked to it?"

The reaper shrugged "no, but that could be because of the seal. Now quit spouting nonsense and let me sleep, I have to be in Sand by tomorrow"

"but Naruto Konoha is lying to you and I can get proof"

"get the proof and I'll think about it, but for now I'm happy where I am ... and I'll be even happier tomorrow" he said with a suggestive wink making Sasuke glare at him before leaving "I knew he was gay ... better go see Gaara since I'm here" he disappeared in a swirl of black energy.

XXXXXXXXXX

Gaara was at his desk doing paperwork when he felt a familiar energy "general I didn't exmmmmpf" the red head was cut off by a kiss and the blonde made quick work of his clothes.

Naruto smirked when he removed the robes and saw a pair of pink panties hugging the red head's tight ass "this is something new" he pinned the red head to the wall and with one hand pinned Gaara's wrists above his head.

The blonde lazily traced circles in the silk fabric with his free hand making Gaara squirm "Naruto don't ahhh do that ahhh" moaned the red head as the general cupped the cute bulge through the panties. Gaara bucked his hips against the hand and writhed as he felt his release coming. He came and fell limp against the wall with only the blonde's hand holding his wrists keeping him up.

"Sasuke knows about Sakura" said the blonde as he gently pulled into his lap when he sat down in Gaara's chair.

The flushed red head panted "that sucks ... but he doesn't know about us and Kurama only has a month left before you take him so don't worry ... you should get back before someone notices you're gone"

"it's ok, I left a clone in the village and Utakata is watching Sakura ... for some reason Kakashi and Yamato are still awkward around me. It's like they never saw a kage bent over a desk before"

Gaara chuckled as he undid the blonde's belt freeing the hard cock "not in that context I bet" he lifted his hips so Naruto could pull down the cum soaked panties. Naruto pulled back ito his lap and thrust deep into Gaara.

"oh fuck oh fuck yes yes Naruto ahhh" Gaara moaned as he clawed at the armrests of the chair as he was easily lifted up and down on the blonde's big cock. Gaara leaned his head back onto Naruto's shoulder begging for a kiss which the blonde happily gave him.

The kiss was broken when Gaara screamed as he released. Naruto groaned as his lover tightened around him and came pouring his seed into the red head. The two lovers relaxed in the warmth of their after glow.

"the others are coming for me as the Akatsuki next week ... Naruto, I want you to separate my soul from this fake body ... please"

Naruto couldn't say no to those pleading blue-green eyes "ok, but it will be tricky if there is a Hyuga with us ... I'll figure it out" he kissed the red head.

Inorder to walk among the living the reapers had to possess special fake bodies. These bodies can't be destroyed by normal means like poisons or injuries no matter how fatal. The only way to reverse the possession is to have another reaper channel reaper energy into the false body. Of course that could mean someone who can see chakra could see the abnormality when the reaper drops the cloak that hides the undead energy so it can be pushed into the fake body.

After his general left and he redressed Temari entered his office "you wanted to see me Gaara?"

"yes, we had reports that the Akatsuki are on the move. They will come after me so incase something happens I'm naming you as my successor"

Temari's eyes widened and she hugged Gaara "don't talk like that, I won't let anything happen to you"

"I know, but we have to be prepared"

His blonde friend sighed "I guess you're right, but it's only a precaution"

She never noticed Gaara push some purple/black energy into her ...

Nor did she see the white ghost of a raccoon emerge from her ...

The raccoon perched on Gaara's shoulder **"can I see my family now reaper-san?"** he asked when Temari left.

Gaara nodded "of course, they are waiting for you" he channeled his black energy into the ground and a black door with a skeleton on it slowly rose from the floor. He stepped through the door and walked down the hall and into a room the looked like a cross between a hotel lobby and an airplane terminal.

As the reaper and Shukaku approach a large desk with a cloaked figure siting behind it they heard a yell **"Shu-chan!"** several spirits came out from behind the desk jumped on Shukaku.

The red headed reaper chuckled as the spirits of the former demons played together "the mission was a sucess Death-sama"

The cloaked figure nodded **"so I see, what is the progress with Kurama?"**

"the general has one month left"

 **"not long, they'll be able to pass on together ... I'll miss them, they gave me an excuse not to do this damn paperwork"** Gaara chuckled as he left.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sasuke found the papers proving that Naruto wasn't a demon vessel and headed towards the Sand village. He found the blonde halfway between Leaf and Sand.

"here's your proof" he tossed the papers onto the blonde's lap.

Naruto picked up the papers and skimmed them before shrugging "it's only one report, what proof is that? How do you know this isn't a mistake?"

"cause it was written by an Uchiha" he huffed making the reaper roll his eyes.

"so? shouldn't there be multiple reports? Is this the only one saying pink hair and green eyed female?"

The raven frowned "well yes ... but I checked, Sakura has the nine tails! This is a cover up!"

"ok ... now what, what do you want to accomplish here?" asked the blonde.

"leave Konoha and come with me" Sasuke whispered just loud enough for the blonde to hear.

"Sasuke ... my being a real demon vessel or not isn't the problem, it's the fact that everyone thinks I am one ... the Akatsuki will be after me and we can't stop them. I'll be safer in the village for now" he tossed the papers into the fire.

The last of the once great Uchiha clan looked sadden, but he nodded and left promising to help Naruto leave Konoha ...

The reaper general closed his eyes (I'm sorry, but the dead can't stay among the living ... this is one of those times I wish I didn't come back to life)

XXXXXXXXXX

Naruto and his team were racing towards the Sand village with his team and Gai's team. They just got an urgent call that the Kazekage was taken by the Akatsuki ...

Kakashi glanced at Naruto "are you ok Naruto?"

"I'm fine" the blonde growled through clenched teeth.

"we will get Gaara back" said Yamato

The reaper took a deep breath "I know"

They made it to Sand and after leaving Sakura behind to treat Kankuro they continued onto find Gaara. Temari watched the pinkette like a hawk so the traitor couldn't try something.

As the Hyuga scanned the area with his Byakugan he saw three chakra signatures coming from a cave that was blocked by a boulder "they're up ahead" yelled Neji, but when they stopped Kakashi saw a problem.

"there's a seal on this boulder ... we'd have to find the other four seals and remove them at the same time"

Gai did his good guy pose "my youthful team will find these seals!"

No one saw the reaper breath a sigh of relief as he watched Neji leave ...

Moments later the boulder opened and Yamato, Kakashi, Sai and Naruto raced in. Deidara and Sasori stood at the back of the room and taunted the others as their general held Gaara. With one quick pulse of energy it was over ...

Gaara rose out of the fake body **"ahhh that's much better, these fake bodies are so uncomfortable"**

XXXXXXXXXX

"whoa, what happened to you guys?" asked Konan as Deidara and Sasori limped into the Akatsuki hideout.

"we took the bad guy role too far and called Gaara a slut ... the general beat the shit out of us and no one living or dead helped us" whined Deidara.

 **"you idiots deserved** **it"** muttered the red he'd as he entered the hideout.

Nagato chuckled "one left, who wants to kill the boss?" everyone paled and stayed quiet "seriously, no one? Well since Yahiko is late we'll make him do it" they all looked relieved.

And with that Gaara died ... sort of ... Temari became the next Kazekage ... and Yahiko learned a valuable lesson in punctuality ...


	6. RIP

**I don't own Naruto or any anime OR anything and I don't make a profit off of my stories**

**(** I'm thinking)

"I'm speaking"

**"Demon / summon / ghost speaking"**

**(Demon / summon / ghost thinking)**

/Author's comments\

**Last Time:**

And with that Gaara died ... sort of ... Temari became the next Kazekage ... and Yahiko learned a valuable lesson in punctuality ...

XXXXXXXXXX

A certain wood user walked up to Kakashi "It's been two weeks ... we should check on him" said Yamato.

"yeah ... has he even come out of his apartment?" asked Kakashi

"a few times, but it doesn't look like he's been sleeping and Iruka's worried"

"Iruka is always worried ... lets go" the two senseis of team 7 went to Naruto's apartment.

Kakashi knocked on Naruto's door "hey Naruto, it's me. Kakashi ... Yamato and I want to make sure you're alright, could you let us in?"

It took a couple minutes, but a tired blonde finally opened the door "hey sensei"

"we wanted to make sure you're all right ... can we come in?" Naruto stepped aside letting the two ninjas in.

Naruto sighed as he sat on the couch "so ... what?"

Yamato frowned "how are you feeling?"

"fine, I guess ... I know I can't be sad forever ... "

The silver haired nin nodded as he eyed his student carefully "that's true"

The reaper sighed "you should think about how someone would want you to react if you died. I think Gaara would be pretty pissed at me if I sulked for too long and I don't want him to be mad a me when I see him on the other side ... I'm curious Kakashi-sensei, would your teammates or sensei be happy with how you reacted, you know, staring at their gravestones for hours on end? Just wondering since I know I would be pissed if someone wasted their life over my gravestone"

"well ... no, actually they might be mad ..." said Kakashi as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. He never thought about it that way before ...

**"like I said love, he's an idiot ... they seem to be together a lot"**

The blonde looked out of the corner of his eye and saw the naked and sexy red headed reaper ... this would explain why the blonde looks so tired ... "is it just me or are you two almost connected at the hip lately?" both senseis blushed "wow ... when did this start? Wait, I know, Yamato comforted you after Sakura's betrayal- I'll take that as a yes" Naruto snickered as their faces turned bright red "all kidding aside, I'm happy for you two"

Kakashi eye smiled "thanks Naruto, we'll go now, we just wanted to make sure you were alright and didn't do anything stupid"

"I hid may things about my self, but my impulsiveness was not one of them" the two senseis smiled as they left the apartment.

 **"so Naruto, what now?"** asked Gaara as he sat in the blonde's lap.

Naruto sighed "I have no idea-"

*knock*knock* Naruto slid out from under Gaara and opened the door where he saw a panting Shizune "Naruto, you have to come to the hospital now, it's about Jiraiya!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"what happened?" asked Naruto as he looked at the toad sage laying in the hospital bed and hooked up to several machines.

Tsunade frowned "he was attacked by the Akatsuki ... he's lucky to be alive- Naruto, where are you going?"

The blonde stopped in front of the door "going to see if any nurses will attack him for his previous perverted antics" Tsunade sweat dropped, she didn't think of that ...

XXXXXXXXXX

 **"Naruto, what happened?"** asked Gaara as the undead blonde came back into the apartment.

Instead of answering he went to the mirror in the hall and channeled his energy in making a monitor appear "I know you guys can hear me so ANSWER!"

The monitor flicked on revealing a frightened Hiden who kept glancing at someone off screen "y-yes general, sir"

"what happened with Jiraiya? He's in the hospital half dead. Hell, his soul is clinging by a thread and Tsunade says you guys are responsible. NOW WHAT HAPPENED?" Gaara frowned, reapers are only meant to escort souls to the other side not kill people before their time is up. Someone is in big trouble ...

Hiden gulped "well, you see s-sir ... umm after Gaara 'died' err ... Jiraiya became more determined to get info on us and ummm you see ... he caught Yahiko and Nagato having sex and they kind freaked out. Konan stopped them before it got bad, but then he groped her and well yeah ..."

Naruto face palmed "Yahiko, Nagato, Konan get in front of the camera" Hiden quickly left. Shuffling and scuffling could be heard off camera "... NOW"

Yahiko, Nagato and Konan scrambled to the screen "yes sir!" they yelled.

"you are all aware that even with the fake bodies you are all still reapers, meaning ... YOU DON'T KILL! Jiraiya is thankfully alive and I stabilized his soul, but don't let that happen again!"

The three reapers flinched and hung their heads "yes sir!" the monitor was shut off and warped back into a regular mirror.

Gaara wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist and nuzzled his chest **"well that was interesting ... so what now?"**

"can you watch Sakura for me?" Gaara raised an eyebrow in confusion, but nodded anyways.

XXXXXXXXXX

Shizune ran into Tsunade's office "Lady Tsunade, Naruto left the village!"

"What?! Where did he go?" screamed the blonde hokage. Both medics were unaware of a certain pinkette listening in.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sakura couldn't be happier with the circumstances as she approached the place where she was meant to meet Sasuke to deliver her information.

"Sasuke!" she yelled as she saw her beloved approach "you won't believe the good news! The Akatsuki killed Gaara and attacked Jiraiya. That idiot Naruto couldn't handle it so he went nuts and left the village to hunt down the Akatsuki"

The raven's eyes widened and he grabbed Sakura's shoulders "where did he go? where are the Akatsuki, Sakura?"

(why is he so worried? It only Naruto ... oooh I get it, he wants to kill Naruto first to prove his love for me. How sweet!) "the last report said that they were at the border between Grass and Rain"

Sasuke nodded and left completely unaware of the red haired reaper watching her.

Gaara looked at the pinkette **"that's not true ... what are you planning?"**

XXXXXXXXXX

"first things first, I need to stall anyone coming from Konoha who might be following me" muttered the general as he jumped through trees. Most people thought Naruto couldn't do genjutsu, but they would be wrong. He didn't even slow down as he wove his reaper energy into the trees. It won't stop anyone just slow them down enough for Naruto to make it to the Akatsuki without interference.

 **"hey general"** Utakata appeared alongside the blonde " **Gaara says Sakura is headed towards the Akatsuki hideout now"**

Naruto frowned "damn, I was hoping she'd be put on lock down while they tried to stop me. Things would've been easier if she was in jail. I'd die and come back to take Kurama before they even find my fake body. She must've slipped away before they could, now things will get tricky ... tell them not to engage. I will cut her off" after Utakata vanished to deliver the orders Naruto spread out his senses and located the pink haired medic "Sakura what are you doing here?"

The pinkette looked up from her camp fire "I heard what happened and wanted to help. Here have some food"

The reaper raised an eyebrow (More like she wants to help me to the grave) he glanced at the red headed reaper sitting nearby.

Gaara shrugged **"don't look at me, I have no idea what she's up to. Best guess is she wants to weaken you so the Akatsuki kill you"**

He frowned as he sat down and took a plate (Why did I get the crazy demon vessel? Someone else should be watching her) the blonde tried imagining any of his other colleagues watching her and came up with the same result every time ... Sakura being maimed by her bodyguard (ook ... guess she's the lucky one in this situation ... she put poison in my noodles) he could easily smell the poison that tainted his food (you are so lucky Kurama is nearly done otherwise I'd be haunting you right now)

Sakura smirked as Naruto ate the food thinking she was so sneaky ...

XXXXXXXXXX

"we have to hurry I hope he's ok and where is Sakura? I don't like the thought of her being near Naruto" yelled Kakashi

Yamato grabbed the silver haired ninja's arm "what we need to do is take a break, we won't be much help if we're exhausted"

"you're right ... " Kakashi sighed and they set up camp for the night. They didn't know that they were trapped in an illusion of Naruto's making.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sasuke stopped at the spot Sakura mention and saw nothing there. An icy chill of fear crept up his spine as he realized Sakura lied in order to stall him. He quickly doubled back and followed the pinkette's trail as he prayed he wasn't too late.

XXXXXXXXXX

"they're here! Get out there Yahiko!" yelled Konan

Yahiko shook his head "I don't want to! Please don't make me fight him" he pleaded as he held onto the door clinging for dear life ... his undead life.

"GO" snapped Konan and she kicked him out the door.

He stumbled slightly and as he righted himself he saw his general coming towards them "Naruto Uzumaki, decided to make things easier for yourself" said Yahiko stoically, but on the inside he was crying.

The blonde smirked "you'll pay for what you did to Jiraiya" Yahiko didn't show it, but he was afraid ... he knew this would hurt.

Sakura stood back and watched Naruto fight with the leader of the Akatsuki. Naruto threw a punch and managed to connect with Pain's jaw sending him flying. However, Pain was able to correct himself in mid air and sent a kick at Naruto who just barely dodged.

(idiot isn't bad ... oh well, the poison will kick in soon) thought the pinkette as the blonde ducked a metal spike thrown by Pain.

Naruto pretended to get caught in a headlock "here's the plan" he whispered to Yahiko "make the fight look good then after you 'capture' me knock her out until Kurama is done, which should be any time now" he broke the headlock seat a jab the orangette's ribs.

Yahiko grunted in pain "got it general" it took several more minutes, but Yahiko finally pinned Naruto down with a series of spikes in non vital spots. As he turned to knock out the pinkette something flew past him ... it was a spike from earlier in the fight and it buried itself into his general's chest.

"NARUTO!" Yahiko looked up and saw Sasuke staring in horror at the skewered blonde. The Uchiha didn't know that such a simple thing can't stop a fake body so he believed that Naruto was killed ... and by Sakura's hands. Apparently she got tired of waiting for the poison.

"YAY! I did it, now we can be together Sasuke ... Sasuke?" Sakura looked confused as her crush began shaking.

"y-you bitch ... I'll kill you!" Sasuke unsheathed his blade and ran towards Sakura. Gaara felt Kurama finish his hibernation right this second and they had to get him out of Sakura or his soul could be destroyed when she dies. He thought fast and sent his energy into Naruto's body effectively detaching his soul. A blonde blur rushed out of Naruto's corpse and tackled Sakura. Of course being a ghost now the general went right through the pinkette and skidded across the ground as Sasuke sword sliced through her flesh ...

The blonde laid on the ground for a minute until something started struggling in his arms. He opened his arms to reveal the shaking ghost of a fox.

 **"you're a really lucky fox. Ready to go home, Kurama?"** the fox nodded happily.

 **"Naruto, why is Sasuke kissing your fake body?"** asked Gaara

Naruto looked over and saw Sasuke kiss his corpse, winced when he felt ba deadly aura consume Gaara **"now Gaara I can explain, he just has a little crush that's it, nothing happened-"** the aura got stronger **"time to go Kurama"** and the frightened reaper quickly left hoping to avoid his lover's wrath.

 **"ow ... what happened?"** Gaara looked over and saw Sakura's ghost hovering over her body. Sakura blinked and saw her body under her ... and she screamed.

 **"yes your dead, get over it"** shrugged the red head.

XXXXXXXXXX

In the Konoha graveyard there stood a silver haired man staring at a gravestone "you do remember what Naruto said right Kakashi?" Kakashi raised his head and saw Yamato "he wouldn't be happy if he knew you were staring at his grave stone day after day"

Kakashi took a deep breath "I-I know ... but I ..."

Yamato frowned "miss him, so do I and everyone else. Come on, lets go home" the couple went home together.

XXXXXXXXXX

Obito went into the hideout "it's time to begin- ... hey, where is everyone?" the masked ninja decided to wait ... and wait ... and wait "where the fuck is everyone?!" in his rage he kicked the Gedo Statue and out popped a tag that read 'full sized Gedo Statue: Made in China' ... Obito blinked and fell to the floor crying like baby as he realized he has been tricked!

None of the Akatsuki were seen again ...

Sasuke was accepted back into Konoha after having his memories searched. It seems he did everything because he truly loved Naruto. He gave them more than enough info to capture and kill Orochimaru ...

Jiraiya dedicated his first Yaoi book to Naruto and Gaara ...

However, just because their mission is done that doesn't mean any of the reapers should relax. Why? Simple because everyone dies and that means everyone will find out eventually ... let's hope Tsunade and Temari are in a good mood when they pass on ...


End file.
